Updates and A Response To A Comment

It’s been a while. I’m sorry about that. Sort of.

I’ve just been really busy which I’m sure many of you understand. I didn’t forget about you or this blog though, rest assured.

And honestly, I haven’t really had anything to write about. I know some people think that if you have a blog you should constantly update it blah blah etc. etc. I, on the other hand, would much rather post something that is significant or meaningful. Working on a posting schedule puts me at risk for blogging about how I got my leg caught in my trashcan, and that’s it. That’s the story. I don’t want to bore anyone any more than I typically do.

So what’s going on with me? Like I said, I’ve been busy. El Tortuga is wrapping up Kindergarten and has recently started sleeping in a box.

 

Looks really fucking peaceful if you ask me.

Jim hasn’t been wearing his Crocs lately, but I have high hopes for their return what with summer being around the corner.

I’m heading to San Francisco next week for a conference. If you live in the area and want to meet up, reconsider.

You may have noticed that the blog looks different. The reason for this is that I was bored. I have a new feature I’m going to start next week. I’ve developed this odd hobby of reading all the comments posted on online news stories. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably noticed an uptick in my posts about them. They are easily the most amusing things in the world. Some of the dumbest, most depraved idiots saddle up to their computer and spew whatever the vitriolic fuckery they can think of in regard to a particular story. I’m going to start sharing them here because they make my day.

Speaking of comments, I never bring up the comments that people leave on my blog. Many personal blogs disable the comment feature for whatever reason, but I vowed to never do that because I want to hear what you have to say. I’ve gotten loads of shitty comments in the past, and they rarely offend or upset me. The way I see it, I have a right to start a blog and post whatever the hell I want on it. By enabling the comments section, I’m acknowledging that you have a right to form an opinion about what I’ve said AND I’m encouraging you to share said opinion. My stance on this is unwavering, HOWEVER, I was caught off guard by a comment posted last month on my infamous McDonald’s post. It read:

Sparky2000: 

I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE WITH forthelulz. YOU ARE HORRIBLE; MORE HORRIBLE THAN YOU CLAIM MCDONALD’S IS. IF YOU HAD A BACKBONE, YOU WOULD TELL YOUR CHILD WHO’S BOSS AND FEED HIM/HER BETTER. MCDONALD IS A TREAT, NOT A REQUIREMENT!!!

P.S. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU, MCDONALD’S!!!”

What in the great glittery fuck are you going on about? I am fascinated by you and would love to have a discussion with you. My first question is this: are you pro or anti McDonald’s. I mean, I saw the “love you” part, but the earlier message seemed to indicate that you were gearing up for a “McDonald’s is a biohazard” rant. Next question: did you actually read the fucking post?

First off, my son is not a hermaphrodite and I think I made it pretty fucking lucid that he is a boy. Son. Male. Not a female. There is no question about his gender. It has been confirmed. Dude’s a boy.

Secondly, I have a backbone. I probably have too much of a backbone. It’s absolutely fucking mysterious how I haven’t been arrested given the excessive amount of times I’ve unnecessarily started an argument with someone in public. My son asks me for shit all day every day. You know what I say 90% of the time? No. Part of that is because the things he wants to do are both time consuming and illegal. Regardless of my motivations, rest assured that I am in complete control of my household, but I appreciate the advice.

Last question: WHY ARE YOU YELLING? WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET THAT I DON’T LIKE MCDONALD’S? DO YOU WORK FOR MCDONALD’S? CAN I GET SOME COUPONS FOR HAPPY MEALS?

Anyway, Sparky2000, my e-mail is up yonder in the contact section. I’m completely serious: you fascinate me. I’d like to hear more about you. I’m not even mad at you, I just want to hear how you came to all these mind boggling conclusions.

Onward!

My friend Amanda sent me a picture from a website called Extreme Advertising. I nearly pissed my pants. Here are a few posts from said site. If you choose to visit, please be aware that they use strong language, although you’re probably okay with that if you’re on my fucking website. Enjoy and have a whatever weekend.

 

 

4 Responses to Updates and A Response To A Comment

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  2. Thank you for this weblog. That’s most I can say. You certainly have made this blog into a thing thats attention opening and important. You clearly recognize so much regarding the subject, youve coated so many bottoms. Great things from this the main internet. Once more, thank you for this blog.

  3. So I’m wondering if you’ve read, I’ll Go Home Then, It’s Warm and They Have Chairs by David Thorne.

    Some of the best chapters are his back and forth responses with ‘fan’ letters. Totally worth the $9 on Kindle.

    I read news story comments for the same reason I watch reality TV, it makes me feel better as a person :)

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